Pootly-Nautch
by Nosferatu's Cigarette Binge
Summary: Pee-Wee is miffed when Cowboy Curtis buys take-out that is not to his liking.


**Disclaimer: **I do not claim any rights to the characters in this story.

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**C**owboy Curtis sauntered into the playhouse so quickly, that even the flowers weren't able to announce his arrival.

"Well, howdy there Pee-Wee," Cowboy Curtis sang out, seeing his friend seated on Chairry with his legs crossed, filing his nails.

"Hiya, Cowboy Curtis!" Pee-Wee practically screamed.

Cowboy Curtis held up a greasy white take-out bag and shook it invitingly before Mr. Herman's nose.

"I bought ya a baked potato Pee-Wee!" He said, withdrawing a small plastic container.

"You did?! Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! A baked potato smothered in butter sounds swell. I just love baked potatoes," Pee-wee licked his lips. "Thank you Cowboy Curtis!" he laughed.

"You're welcome, Pee-Wee! Say, d'ya mind if I take a perch?"

"Ha-ha, not at all. In fact, it would be my pleasure Cowboy Curtis." Pee-Wee motioned for him to sit.

"Thanks. Whoo-ee! I need to take a load of these doggies," he sighed as he plopped down on dirty dog chair and removed his boots.

Pee-wee winced over the state of Cowboy Curtis' feet. Pinching his nose, he nasally complained about the odor of his feet ruining his appetite, only to be ignored.

"Hyuck. I can't wait to sink my chompers into this here double bacon and mushroom triple cheese burger deluxe," Cowboy Curtis said, eyes glistening as he looked at the burger in his mitts.

"Double bacon and mushroom triple cheese burger deluxe?!" Pee-Wee repeated inquisitively as looked over with widened eyes, fidgeting with his unwrapped spork.

"Yup. They's really expensive, but I don't care. Tastes like a bit o' heaven 'tween two buns."

"Oh, so you've had them before?" Pee-Wee scoffed, visibly tiffed.

"Yep. 'most everyday. Hyuck."

"I guess you only had enough to buy this potato off the value menu for little ol' me, right?"

"Nope, I had at least five dollars left! Just enough to buy me 'nother of these things. I ate the first one on the way here. Why don't you eat your potato 'for it gets cold Pee-Wee. Nuthin' worse than a cold tater."

"Yeah," Pee- Wee replied dispassionately. He removed the lid from the baked potato and was instantly hit by the moist, sulfuric stench of it. He had to close his eyes to keep them from watering.

"Ugh," Pee-wee groaned, looking hatefully to Cowboy Curtis, who was too busy munching away to pay any attention. "**UGH**!" Pee-wee theatrically groaned again as he leaned closer to Curtis.

"What's wrong Pee-Wee? Ya got the belly cramps?"

"No! This Potato smells really, REALLY bad. But thanks for asking."

"No problem," Curtis grunted as he pulled a sesame seed from a bun and placed it on his tongue. "Danged if them sesame seeds don't taste like cheddar."

Pee-Wee mumbled under his breath as removed a napkin from his pocket and spread it across his lap neatly, placing the spud tray and spork gently upon it.

"Uh, Cowboy Curtis, could I PLEASE have some salt and butter?"

"Sure thang, Pee-Wee." Cowboy Curtis rustled through the bag and threw the packets toward him.

"Thanks," Pee-Wee laughed. "La-la-la-la-la," he sang as he started to peel back the covers of the miniature containers; soon moving to buzzing sounds as he thickly poured salt and butter all over the spud. He clapped his hands together, once finished, and was ready to dig in. He pushed the spork into the potato and placed a large mouthful between his teeth;looking salaciously to the unseen audience.

"Mmmmm. Pa-" he stopped mid-word, "Potato-y" never living his lips. He displayed a horrific grimace and a wrinkled nose. "Cowboy Curtis! I told you never to buy _Mandy'_s baked potatoes!" Pee-wee screamed as he ran into the kitchen.

"Doggone it. They ain't that bad are they?" Cowboy Curtis asked as he raised from his chair and followed him into the Kitchen. "Whadja gonna do, throw 'way a perfectly good tater, Pee-Wee?!" he asked, then watched Pee-wee open a fastfood package of ketchup and stick a stirring straw in the opening.

"No, Cowboy Curtis, I'm not," Pee-Wee said as he opened his refrigerator and sunk to his knees, opening a drawer at the very bottom.

A thick veil of fog escaped the drawer as it opened. Once it lifted, Cowboy Curtis saw at least 10 little plastic baked potato containers nestled within.

"What tha Heck?" Cowboy Cutis stood scratching his chin. "Whadda do? Collect em?"

"Shh, they're trying to sleep!" Pee-Wee placed a finger to his lips, but it was too late. Slowly, the translucent plastic lids of the microwave containers shifted, and their inhabitants glowing eyes shined though the misty darkness. They set forth hissing and baring their fangs upon seeing those responsible for interrupting their slumber.

Pee-Wee hurriedly placed the Ketchup drip IV straw into the newest member of the coven before letting it, and its microwave container/coffin, sink into the dense fog. He slammed the drawer, pushing all of his weight against it to keep it closed as the vampiric spuds' cries resonated throughout the playhouse.

"Gee-Whiz, that was a close one!" Pee-Wee eased up after a few minutes and brushed his suit. "Cowboy Curtis, why can't you ever remember _Mandy's _is the only fast food joint that uses Transylvanian grown potatoes!"


End file.
